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	<title>Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</title>
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	<title>Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</title>
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		<title>Why Are You Being So Hard on Yourself?</title>
		<link>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-are-you-being-so-hard-on-yourself-as-a-high-performing-womam/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Niki Saunders-Fearns]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Jun 2026 11:32:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Performance & Leadership]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-high-performing-women-are-exhausted-copy/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><img data-tf-not-load="1" fetchpriority="high" loading="auto" decoding="auto" width="1179" height="2134" src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:882/h:1597/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="high-performing woman holding head in hands" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:882/h:1597/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 1179w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:166/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 166w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:566/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 566w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:1390/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:849/h:1536/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 849w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:881/h:1597/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 1131w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:882/h:1597/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 1200w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:882/h:1597/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/for-blog.jpeg 2x" sizes="(max-width: 1179px) 100vw, 1179px" /></p>
<p>I was chatting to a high-performing woman recently who told me she'd been up since 5am. She wouldn't get home until after 8 that evening. Then it was dinner, helping the kids with whatever they needed, getting everyone organised for the next day and finally collapsing into bed. She was on her way to a [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-are-you-being-so-hard-on-yourself-as-a-high-performing-womam/">Why Are You Being So Hard on Yourself?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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	Why Are You Being So Hard on Yourself?	</h1></div>
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        <h2>I was chatting to a high-performing woman recently who told me she&#8217;d been up since 5am.</h2>
<p>She wouldn&#8217;t get home until after 8 that evening.</p>
<p>Then it was dinner, helping the kids with whatever they needed, getting everyone organised for the next day and finally collapsing into bed.</p>
<p>She was on her way to a meeting she hadn&#8217;t had time to prepare for because, quite simply, life had got in the way.</p>
<p>As we talked, I mentioned a mistake I&#8217;d made earlier that day.</p>
<p>How I&#8217;d replayed it in my head.</p>
<p>Questioned myself.</p>
<p>Wondered whether I should have known better.</p>
<p>She looked at me and said:</p>
<h3><strong>&#8220;Why are you being so hard on yourself?&#8221;</strong></h3>
<p>I smiled.</p>
<p>Because all I could think was&#8230;</p>
<h4><strong>You should probably ask yourself the same question, especially as a high-performing woman.</strong></h4>
<div><strong> </strong></div>
<p>Because women are often brilliant at extending compassion to everyone else.</p>
<p>We reassure our children.</p>
<p>Encourage our friends.</p>
<p>Support our colleagues.</p>
<p>Lead our teams.</p>
<p>Tell other women they&#8217;re doing better than they think they are.</p>
<p>Yet when it comes to ourselves?</p>
<p>The voice in our head sounds very different.</p>
<p><a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-high-performing-women-are-exhausted-from-holding-it-all-together/">I wrote about why high-performing women are often exhausted also, here</a></p>
<p>You should have done more.</p>
<p>You should have known better.</p>
<p>You should be coping.</p>
<p>You should have it figured out by now.</p>
<p>You should be grateful.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve become so used to carrying the load, pushing through and holding it all together that being hard on ourselves feels normal.</p>
<p>Necessary, even.</p>
<p>For many women I work with, particularly during midlife, self-criticism has become the fuel that drives performance.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s the thing that helped them build successful careers, raise families, manage households and keep everything moving.</p>
<p>Until it doesn&#8217;t.</p>
<p>Because eventually, the strategy that got us here stops serving us.</p>
<p>The constant pressure.</p>
<p>The impossible standards.</p>
<p>The belief that we&#8217;re only as good as our last success.</p>
<p>What if success didn&#8217;t have to come at the expense of self-compassion?</p>
<p>What if we could maintain high standards without punishing ourselves for being human?</p>
<p>What if the next chapter wasn&#8217;t about pushing harder, but leading ourselves differently?</p>
<p>And if nobody has asked you this recently&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>Why are you being so hard on yourself?</strong></p>
<p>Maybe the answer to that question is where everything starts to change.</p>
<p>If this resonated with you, you&#8217;re not alone.</p>
<p>Many of the women I work with are still performing, still delivering and still carrying enormous responsibility.</p>
<p>And you can too &#8211; <a href="https://calendly.com/nicolasaundersfearns/private-coaching">click here</a> to book a private consultation</p>
<p>They simply don&#8217;t want success to come at the expense of themselves anymore.</p>
<p>You haven&#8217;t lost your edge.</p>
<p>Sometimes, you just need a different way of accessing it.</p>
<h2> </h2>    </div>
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<!--/themify_builder_content--><p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-are-you-being-so-hard-on-yourself-as-a-high-performing-womam/">Why Are You Being So Hard on Yourself?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Why High-Performing Women Are Exhausted</title>
		<link>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-high-performing-women-are-exhausted-from-holding-it-all-together/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Niki Saunders-Fearns]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 13:23:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Menopause & Midlife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Performance & Leadership]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/how-long-does-menopause-last-and-why-thats-the-wrong-question-copy/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" width="1200" height="1500" src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:1500/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Niki Saunders speaking about menopause, leadership and workplace confidence" decoding="async" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:1500/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg 1200w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:240/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg 240w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:819/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg 819w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:960/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:1500/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/niki-saunders-menopause-leadership-blog.jpg 2x" sizes="(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px" /></p>
<p>I could just post the polished version. The finished makeup.The black tie dress.The glamorous photos. And don’t get me wrong…I love getting dressed up. And I love to look good. But if I only ever showed the polished version of myself online, how could the women I work with ever really trust me? Because coaching [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-high-performing-women-are-exhausted-from-holding-it-all-together/">Why High-Performing Women Are Exhausted</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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	Why High-Performing Women Are Exhausted	</h1></div>
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        <p>I could just post the polished version.</p>
<p>The finished makeup.<br>The black tie dress.<br>The glamorous photos.</p>
<p>And don’t get me wrong…I love getting dressed up. And I love to look good.</p>
<p>But if I only ever showed the polished version of myself online, how could the women I work with ever really trust me?</p>
<p>Because coaching only works when people feel safe enough to tell the truth.</p>
<p>The overthinking.<br>The anxiety.<br>The self-doubt.<br>The pressure.<br>The parts they’re trying hardest to hide.</p>
<p>And if I’m constantly performing perfection online, what message does that send?</p>
<p>That they need to show up perfectly too? And pretend everything is ok? They&#8217;ve no problems? No issues with performance?</p>
<p>No thanks.</p>
<h2>High-performing women are used to holding it together</h2>
<p>This is something I see constantly with the women I work with.</p>
<p>On paper, everything still looks fine:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>successful career</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>capable</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>functioning</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>delivering</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>But underneath?</p>
<p>They’re exhausted.</p>
<p>Not because they’re incapable.</p>
<p>Because they’re carrying the pressure of constantly needing to:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>perform</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>cope</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>stay composed</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>keep proving themselves</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>And during perimenopause or midlife, that pressure starts costing more than it used to. </p>
<h2> </h2>    </div>
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                                    .                            </h4>
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            From the outside, everything can look fine. Internally, many high-performing women feel completely different.
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        <h2><span style="color: #c9a227; font-size: 30px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -0.03em;">The problem with “coping well”</span></h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Women who are high-performing are often the least likely to ask for support.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because resilience becomes identity.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">You become:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>the dependable one</li>
<li>the calm one</li>
<li>the one who gets things done</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">So when things start to feel harder:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>brain fog</li>
<li>anxiety</li>
<li>emotional overwhelm</li>
<li>confidence dips</li>
</ul>
<p>…the instinct isn’t to pause.</p>
<p>It’s to push harder&#8230;.because lets be honest, we don&#8217;t ever want to admit we&#8217;re not Superwoman!</p>
<p><a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/midlife-performance-decline/">Read my tips for performing at your best during midlife </a></p>
<h2>Why honesty matters more than polish</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Real trust is built when people feel they can stop pretending.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">That’s true in coaching.<br>And honestly, it’s true in life too.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">I’m not interested in creating a polished version of womanhood that nobody can actually relate to.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">I’m interested in honest conversations about:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>performance</li>
<li>confidence</li>
<li>identity</li>
<li>pressure</li>
<li>midlife</li>
<li>what happens when the strategies that used to work stop working in the same way</li>
</ul>
<div>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because that’s where meaningful change starts.</p>
<h2>You don’t have to hold it all together alone</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">One of the biggest shifts for many women is realising:</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Struggling silently is not a requirement for being capable.</p>
<p>And often, the strongest thing you can do is stop pretending you’re fine when you’re not.</p>
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<!--/themify_builder_content--><p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-high-performing-women-are-exhausted-from-holding-it-all-together/">Why High-Performing Women Are Exhausted</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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		<title>Stop Asking How Long Menopause Lasts</title>
		<link>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/stop-asking-how-long-menopause-lasts/</link>
					<comments>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/stop-asking-how-long-menopause-lasts/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Niki Saunders-Fearns]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2026 08:57:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Menopause & Midlife]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-your-performance-feels-different-in-midlife-and-what-to-do-about-it-copy/</guid>

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<p>Menopause itself is a single point in time, defined as 12 months without a period. However, the menopause transition can last 4–8 years, with symptoms sometimes continuing beyond that. If I had a £1 for every time I’ve been asked “how long does menopause last?”… I’d be financially independent by now. It’s one of the [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/stop-asking-how-long-menopause-lasts/">Stop Asking How Long Menopause Lasts</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Menopause timeline showing how long menopause lasts including perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause stages" decoding="async" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 1080w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 300w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1024/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 1024w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:150/h:150/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 150w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:768/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:350/h:350/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 350w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/blog-image-1080-x-1080-px-2.png 2x" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px" /></p><!--themify_builder_content-->
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	Stop Asking How Long Menopause Lasts	</h1></div>
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        <p class="isSelectedEnd">Menopause itself is a single point in time, defined as 12 months without a period. However, the menopause transition can last 4–8 years, with symptoms sometimes continuing beyond that.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd"><em>If I had a £1 for every time I’ve been asked “how long does menopause last?”… I’d be financially independent by now.</em></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">It’s one of the most Googled menopause questions—and it makes sense.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">You want a timeline.<br>An end date.<br>A light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">So let’s start with the answer Google wants…</p>
<h2>How long does menopause last?</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Menopause itself is a <strong>single point in time</strong>—the moment you’ve gone 12 months without a period.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">But the <strong>menopause transition</strong> (what you’re actually feeling) typically lasts:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li><strong>Perimenopause:</strong> 4–8 years</li>
<li><strong>Post-menopause symptoms:</strong> can continue for several years</li>
<li><strong>Total experience:</strong> often <strong>7–10 years</strong></li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">That’s the clinical reality.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Now let’s talk about <span style="font-weight: bold;"><em>your</em> </span>reality.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Don&#8217;t know where you are, <a class="themify_lightbox" href="https://nicola-abojbi3o.scoreapp.com">take my performance scorecard</a></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd"><img src="data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns=%27http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%27%20width='300'%20height='175'%20viewBox=%270%200%20300%20175%27%3E%3C/svg%3E" loading="lazy" data-lazy="1" style="background:linear-gradient(to right,#f7f1f3 25%,#f7f1f3 25% 50%,#f7f1f3 50% 75%,#f7f1f3 75%),linear-gradient(to right,#fbf0e9 25%,#fbf0e9 25% 50%,#f9e1d8 50% 75%,#fbf0e9 75%),linear-gradient(to right,#faeae2 25%,#f6cec2 25% 50%,#fbf0e9 50% 75%,#fbf0e9 75%),linear-gradient(to right,#fbf0e9 25%,#fbf0e9 25% 50%,#fbf0e9 50% 75%,#fbf0e9 75%)" decoding="async" class="tf_svg_lazy alignnone size-medium wp-image-858" data-tf-src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:175/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png" alt="Menopause timeline showing how long menopause lasts including perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause stages" width="300" height="175" data-tf-srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:175/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 300w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:698/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 1200w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:704/h:410/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 704w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:698/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 2x" data-tf-sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><noscript><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-858" data-tf-not-load src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:175/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png" alt="Menopause timeline showing how long menopause lasts including perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause stages" width="300" height="175" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:175/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 300w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:698/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 1200w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:704/h:410/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 704w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1200/h:698/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Screenshot-2026-05-05-at-10.23.01-1.png 2x" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></noscript></p>
<h2>Why menopause can feel like it lasts forever</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because no one explains this properly.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Most symptoms happen during <strong>perimenopause</strong>, when hormones are fluctuating—not declining nicely and predictably.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">That’s why you might feel:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>Fine one week</li>
<li>Anxious the next</li>
<li>Exhausted for no clear reason</li>
<li>Like you’ve completely lost your edge</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">This isn’t you “falling apart”.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">It’s your body trying to recalibrate.</p>
<h2>When does menopause start?</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Another common question—and one that links directly here.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Perimenopause can start:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>In your early to mid-40s (sometimes earlier)</li>
<li>Even if your periods are still regular</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Which is why so many women don’t realise what’s happening.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">They think:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>“I’m just stressed”</li>
<li>“I’m not coping”</li>
<li>“Something’s wrong with me”</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">There isn’t.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">But there <em>is</em> a gap in understanding.</p>
<h2>What signals the end of menopause?</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Let’s be clear—there’s no clean finish line.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">But signs you’re moving through it can include:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>Periods stopping completely</li>
<li>Hormones stabilising</li>
<li>Symptoms becoming less intense or more manageable</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">That said, some women still experience:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>Hot flushes</li>
<li>Sleep disruption</li>
<li>Low mood</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Years later.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Which brings us to the part no one challenges…</p>
<h2>Just because menopause can last years… doesn’t mean you have to feel awful for years</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">This is where I push back.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because too many women are told:</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd"><span style="font-size: 1.1em;">“It’s just menopause. You have to ride it out.”</span></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">You don’t. <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/">I talk more about this here</a></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Yes—this is a biological transition.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">But your <strong>experience of it</strong> is not fixed.</p>
<h2>What actually changes your menopause experience</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">It’s not just hormones.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">It’s:</p>
<ul data-spread="false">
<li>Your understanding of what’s happening</li>
<li>The support you have (or don’t)</li>
<li>Stress levels</li>
<li>Sleep</li>
<li>Lifestyle</li>
<li>Whether you’ve been dismissed or properly listened to</li>
</ul>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because when you’re told “this is normal”—you stop looking for solutions.</p>
<h2>A better question to ask</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Instead of:</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd"><strong>“How long does menopause last?”</strong></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Ask:</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd"><strong>“How long am I willing to feel like this?”</strong></p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Because those are two very different timelines.</p>
<h2>Final thought</h2>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">Menopause can last years.</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">But struggling through it for years?</p>
<p class="isSelectedEnd">That’s not inevitable.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>    </div>
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<!--/themify_builder_content--><p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/stop-asking-how-long-menopause-lasts/">Stop Asking How Long Menopause Lasts</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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		<title>Why Your Performance Feels Different in Midlife</title>
		<link>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-performance-feels-different-in-midlife/</link>
					<comments>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-performance-feels-different-in-midlife/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Niki Saunders-Fearns]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Apr 2026 17:57:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Performance & Leadership]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns=%27http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%27%20width='1008'%20height='1008'%20viewBox=%270%200%201008%201008%27%3E%3C/svg%3E" loading="lazy" data-lazy="1" width="1008" height="1042" data-tf-src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png" class="tf_svg_lazy attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Woman in midlife working at a desk, looking thoughtful and slightly fatigued, reflecting challenges with focus and performance during menopause." decoding="async" data-tf-srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 1008w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:290/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 290w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:991/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 991w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:794/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 2x" data-tf-sizes="(max-width: 1008px) 100vw, 1008px" /><noscript><img width="1008" height="1042" data-tf-not-load src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Woman in midlife working at a desk, looking thoughtful and slightly fatigued, reflecting challenges with focus and performance during menopause." decoding="async" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 1008w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:290/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 290w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:991/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 991w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:794/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1008/h:1042/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Fearns-Menopause-Coach.png 2x" sizes="(max-width: 1008px) 100vw, 1008px" /></noscript></p>
<p>There was a point where I genuinely thought I was slipping. Like my performance had suddenly declined because of midlife. Not dramatically.Just enough to notice.  I was forgetting things I wouldn’t normally forget.My diary felt harder to manage.I was overthinking conversations that I’d usually move on from quickly. It took a large part of my [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-performance-feels-different-in-midlife/">Why Your Performance Feels Different in Midlife</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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	Why Your Performance Feels Different in Midlife	</h1></div>
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        <p>There was a point where I genuinely thought I was slipping. Like my performance had suddenly declined because of midlife.</p>
<p>Not dramatically.<br>Just enough to notice. </p>
<p>I was forgetting things I wouldn’t normally forget.<br>My diary felt harder to manage.<br>I was overthinking conversations that I’d usually move on from quickly.</p>
<p>It took a large part of my brains capacity and I couldn&#8217;t do the things I used to. </p>
<p><a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/">This is where I talk more about how this showed up for m</a>e</p>
<p>I started making mistakes in emails and slide decks.</p>
<p>Small things. But for someone who had built a career on being sharp and detail-focused, it felt big.</p>
<p>So I did what most high-performing women do.</p>
<p>I pushed harder.</p>
<p>More structure.<br>More effort.<br>More time trying to stay on top of everything.</p>
<p>But it didn’t fix it.</p>
<p>Because the issue wasn’t capability.</p>
<p>It was capacity.</p>
<p>What I didn’t understand at the time was how much menopause can impact the brain.</p>
<p>Focus.<br>Memory.<br>Emotional regulation.<br>Cognitive load.</p>
<p>If you want to know where you are right now, <a href="https://nicola-abojbi3o.scoreapp.com">take the midlife performance scorecard</a></p>
<p>And if you keep working in the same way you always have, it starts to feel like you’re constantly playing catch up.</p>
<p>The shift came when I stopped trying to force my brain to behave the same way…<br>and started working differently. Your performance doesn&#8217;t have to feel different in midlife. </p>
<h2>Here&#8217;s what I did about it &#8211; to prevent midlife performance decline</h2>
<ol>
<li>
<h2><strong style="color: #243447; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">Reduce the number of decisions you make in a day</strong></h2>
<p>When your brain is under pressure, decision fatigue hits faster.<br>Simplifying what you wear, eat, or how you structure your day frees up mental energy for the things that actually matter.</p>
</li>
<li>
<h3><strong> Stop relying on memory — externalise everything<br></strong></h3>
<p>Even if you’ve always had a strong memory, don’t expect it to carry you through this phase.<br>Write things down. Use notes, reminders, voice memos.<br>Not because you “can’t cope”, but because you’re working smarter.</p>
</li>
<li>
<h3><strong> Build space into your day — not just tasks<br></strong></h3>
<p>Back-to-back meetings and constant context switching increase cognitive load.<br>Short breaks between tasks help your brain reset and improve focus.</p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>None of this is complicated.</p>
<p>But it is different.</p>
<p>And that’s the point.</p>
<p>Because once you understand what’s happening, you stop questioning yourself…<br>and start adjusting how you work.</p>
<p>That’s where confidence starts to come back.</p>
<p>Not from pushing harder.</p>
<p>But from feeling back in control again.</p>    </div>
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<!--/themify_builder_content--><p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-performance-feels-different-in-midlife/">Why Your Performance Feels Different in Midlife</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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		<title>The Hidden Cost of “Pushing Through”</title>
		<link>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/</link>
					<comments>https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Niki Saunders-Fearns]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:17:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Menopause & Midlife]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/youre-not-losing-your-edge-youre-just-working-in-a-way-that-no-longer-works-copy/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><img src="data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns=%27http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%27%20width='1080'%20height='1080'%20viewBox=%270%200%201080%201080%27%3E%3C/svg%3E" loading="lazy" data-lazy="1" width="1080" height="1080" data-tf-src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png" class="tf_svg_lazy attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Niki Saunders-Fearns, menopause coach on performance and leadership" decoding="async" data-tf-srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 1080w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 300w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1024/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 1024w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:150/h:150/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 150w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:768/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:350/h:350/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 350w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 2x" data-tf-sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px" /><noscript><img width="1080" height="1080" data-tf-not-load src="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="Niki Saunders-Fearns, menopause coach on performance and leadership" decoding="async" srcset="https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 1080w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:300/h:300/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 300w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1024/h:1024/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 1024w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:150/h:150/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 150w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:768/h:768/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 768w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:350/h:350/q:mauto/f:best/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 350w, https://mllpmg4ox3gq.i.optimole.com/cb:WirK.b2a/w:1080/h:1080/q:mauto/f:best/dpr:2/https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Niki-Saunders-Ferns-performance-and-leadership.png 2x" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px" /></noscript></p>
<p>There was a point where I genuinely believed I had it all together. The hot flushes had settled. I was sleeping. I’d lost 3 stone. On paper, I looked like the picture of health. I was training regularly, eating “well” (albeit very low calorie), and doing all the things you’re told to do. So I [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/">The Hidden Cost of “Pushing Through”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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	The Hidden Cost of “Pushing Through”	</h1></div>
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        <p id="ember51" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">There was a point where I genuinely believed I had it all together.</p>
<p id="ember52" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">The hot flushes had settled. I was sleeping. I’d lost 3 stone.</p>
<p id="ember53" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">On paper, I looked like the picture of health.</p>
<p id="ember54" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">I was training regularly, eating “well” (albeit very low calorie), and doing all the things you’re told to do.</p>
<p id="ember55" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">So I assumed I was through the worst of it.</p>
<p id="ember56" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">But something wasn’t right.</p>
<p id="ember57" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Not physically. Mentally.</p>
<p id="ember58" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">At work, my performance felt off.</p>
<p id="ember59" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">I was forgetting tasks. My diary was a car crash. I’d open it and feel instantly overwhelmed.</p>
<p id="ember60" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Things that had always felt easy suddenly required effort.</p>
<p id="ember61" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">I started making mistakes in emails and slide decks — something I’d never done before.</p>
<p id="ember62" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">And that hit hard.</p>
<p id="ember63" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Because for years, I’d built my reputation on being sharp, organised and on top of things.</p>
<p id="ember64" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Then there was the emotional side.</p>
<p id="ember65" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">I was overthinking conversations. Replaying things people had said. Questioning myself more than I ever had.</p>
<p id="ember66" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Even small moments felt bigger than they should have.</p>
<p id="ember67" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">From the outside, everything still looked fine.</p>
<p id="ember68" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">But underneath, it didn’t feel it.</p>
<p id="ember69" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">And the conclusion I came to?</p>
<p id="ember70" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Something’s wrong with me.</p>
<p id="ember71" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph"><b>What I didn’t understand at the time was this:</b></p>
<p id="ember72" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">My brain was under pressure.</p>
<p id="ember73" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Even though some of the physical symptoms had eased, the cognitive and emotional impact of menopause was still very much there.</p>
<p id="ember74" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">And I hadn’t adjusted how I was working.</p>
<p id="ember75" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">I was still expecting my brain to perform in the same way it always had.</p>
<p id="ember76" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">So I pushed harder.</p>
<p id="ember77" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Worked longer. Tried to stay in control.</p>
<p id="ember78" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">But that only made things worse.</p>
<p id="ember79" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">The shift came when I stopped trying to force my way through it and started understanding what was actually happening.</p>
<p id="ember80" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Because once you understand the impact menopause has on the brain — on focus, memory, emotional regulation — you can start to work differently.</p>
<p id="ember81" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">You can reduce the mental load.</p>
<p id="ember82" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">You can stop overthinking everything.</p>
<p id="ember83" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">You can put simple strategies in place that allow you to feel confident, capable and in control again.</p>
<p id="ember84" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Not by pushing harder.</p>
<p id="ember85" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">But by working smarter with what your brain actually needs.</p>
<p id="ember86" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">That’s the part no one had explained to me&#8230;.along with how long it lasts, <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/how-long-does-menopause-last/">which I talk about here</a></p>
<p id="ember87" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">And it’s the part I now help other women understand.</p>
<p id="ember88" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">Because you don’t lose your edge in midlife.</p>
<p id="ember89" class="ember-view reader-text-block__paragraph">You just need a different way of using it. <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/why-performance-feels-different-in-midlife/">And here&#8217;s how I did</a></p>    </div>
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<!--/themify_builder_content--><p>The post <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com/hidden-cost-of-pushing-through-midlife/">The Hidden Cost of “Pushing Through”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://nikisaunderscoaching.com">Niki Saunders-Fearns I Midlife Performance Coach | Menopause &amp; Leadership Coaching for Women</a>.</p>
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